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novin_haJOYFUL MYSTERIES
Fourth Mystery: Presentation at the Temple
Warnings: For this chapter, I guess mostly just fluff and established relationship. And weird pairings, possibly.
This part is ~1300 words of fluff of the Illyria/Faith/Wesley variety. There is no tentacle!sex, for once.
Still dedicated to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
girlupnorth, also known as The Enabler, who thought up the title for this.
Presentation at the Temple
Wesley gave up on his efforts to have any control over the proceedings as soon as the appropriate Earthparents were holding the appropriate children. Since pairing Buffy off with either Spike or Angel might have resulted in murder or possibly suicide, the two vampires were standing together, holding Louise, a child without special interest in driving wooden objects through non-wooden ones. Anya and Xander were handed Pia, who was quite whiny ever since early morning. Sophia was given to Buffy and Dawn (and they wouldn’t stop going over how pretty the blue children were, much to Wesley’s liking). Finally, Téa’s Earthparents would be Willow and Andrew.
Connor was highly offended by not being chosen; Kennedy sent them a letter of gratitude for the same reason, and Giles wasn’t coming at all due to some “urgent matters abroad”, which, according to Buffy, entailed “being a pompous ass with a midlife crisis spreading well outside the mid”.
Wesley gathered they weren’t on speaking terms again.
Thankfully, Lorne didn’t lose any of his organizational skills. Choosing him for the master of the ceremony wasn’t divine inspiration, since Illyria’s interest in the practical side of the matter began and ended with her offer to open a portal to get them to wherever the proceedings would take place, but it was a great idea nonetheless. There was a sitting chart, a plan and the music was right about passable.
Lorne welcomed each of the babies in turn, complimented the “happy blue family”, lied to Wesley that he looked better than ever and hugged Spike and Angel, congratulating them on their “resolving of petty differences”.
Faith thanked him for all the work he must have put into the organization.
“I haven’t been the Host for far too long. It’s my pleasure to be able to finally make use of my natural talent – well, one of them anyway,” he added, winking at blushing Andrew.
The naming itself went almost flawlessly, apart from the moment when Louise flooded the room with milk, completely ruining Spike’s shirt and prompting him to let out a series of curses which sent Pia into a giggling fit.
Illyria gave Spike a stern look and reprimanded him not to use “improper language” in front of her daughters. Wesley decided that she was utterly beautiful when using the word “daughters”.
Sitting chart went out of the window fifteen minutes into the first course. Perhaps just as well: Buffy and Faith were speaking in raised voices already. Meanwhile, Lorne sang the babies to sleep in a far corner, and Angel turned to face Wesley.
“Getting back into shape can be a drag,” he said, eyeing Wesley’s loose shirt, which didn’t do as much to hide his post-pregnancy stomach as he might have liked it to.
Wesley pretended to smile in response.
“Peaches here had to lose thirty pounds before Buffy’d let him anywhere near, so half of it was mystical elective surgery, if you get my drift,” Spike explained helpfully. Angel scowled.
“Well, she had you lose a couple, too.”
”I didn’t need a tummy-tuck afterwards.”
Thankfully, Lorne was signalling something from where he was standing over the cribs.
“Excuse me, I think I’ll go check up on the babies.” Wesley rose, leaving his steak halfway uneaten.
Faith apparently had had the very same idea; she was holding Téa up and examining her critically.
“I hate changing nappies,” she sighed.
“You and me both,” Wesley agreed. Faith got cracking.
“I’m under the impression Buffy is engaged in a sexual triangle with Angel and Spike,” he confessed.
“She’s always had a complex, Wes,” Faith replied, drying Téa’s bottom with a wipe. “Like two vampires could ever equal me getting it on with a female God-King… and a very masculine you.”
That earned her a smile. Wesley leaned down and picked Louise up.
“This one too, huh. Too bad she doesn’t open portals that would take out her shit.”
Wesley shrugged. Faith picked the now clean and dressed Téa back up and gave him a peck on the cheek while passing him on her way back to the table.
“Do get that mystic’s number from Angel, though. Nothing wrong with looking your best.”
*~*~*
“So what’s Giles really up to?”
Three hours later, Faith was well into being inebriated, Wesley was starting to feel somewhat relaxed, and younger Slayers were taking turns feeding the blue children from bottles under Illyria’s watchful eye. It was a great party.
“He announced retirement some six months ago,” Buffy replied with evident distaste. “And he brags about his newfound sexual life – not to me, but word gets round – and about young women and men. Except of course that’s pretty much his fantasy, and reality is, he is living with Ethan, and they go out for drinks, hit on people, get rejected, go back to the flat and, you know.”
Spike smiled and finished it for Buffy.
“They get stoned and fuck like teenagers. It’s really heart-warming, guys their age, still so much in lust.”
Faith turned a little bit green.
“I’m going to throw up,” she said.
Buffy patted her on the back.
“At least you didn’t see the surveillance.”
Xander and Anya had snuck out almost an hour prior. Thanks to Willow’s magic, the music in the room was loud, while the corner with the babies remained quiet, letting so-inclined guests dance. Buffy forced both vampires to join her on the floor, to Wesley’s utter amusement; Angel attempted to fake enjoyment, while Spike rocked back and forth while trying to grab either Buffy’s or Angel’s ass.
Lorne was making out with Andrew in one of the darker corners.
“So, which one will Buffy have impregnated?” Faith asked, elbowing Wesley. He startled.
“What?!”
“She’s a born copycat. She won’t suffer it for me to have spawned and for her to be childless. I bet she has Willow researching it as we speak.”
Wesley put his money on Angel, as the one with lesser drinking problem.
Connor’s scowl showed exactly what he thought about siblings. That just got Faith going.
“Cheer up, kiddo, I bet one of the young Slayers here would gladly knock you up given half a chance.”
By the time they left, two hour later, Spike and Angel were slow-dancing, embraced, while Faith had managed to get Buffy drunk enough to elaborate her opinions on the vampires’ technique in the bedroom, much to Wesley’s horror. He bid quick good-byes to Lorne, whom he had to almost pry away from Andrew, hugged Willow, shook Kennedy’s hand and suffered through Buffy’s lengthy speech about how he was now responsible for young lives, speaking of which, where was Dawn.
Spike offered him surprisingly honest commiserations on the account of being surrounded by oceans of estrogens and offered a safe haven in case he wanted to watch telly while drinking beer. Wesley found it quite amusing, considering Spike’s ultra-masculine taste in television programming.
Angel hugged him and professed how happy he was to know that Wesley had found love, acceptance and home, before giving him the mystical surgeon’s card with a, “Seriously, give the guy a call.”
Wesley called first to the shower. Illyria demanded that someone prepare a bath for her.
“Our relationship is so much healthier than theirs,” Faith pronounced happily, before running to the bathroom to cheat on the shower queue.
“We’re going to need a three-bathroom house soon, aren’t we,” he sighed, putting Louise to bed. Louise giggled and levitated his glasses into her tiny grip in response.
Fourth Mystery: Presentation at the Temple
Warnings: For this chapter, I guess mostly just fluff and established relationship. And weird pairings, possibly.
This part is ~1300 words of fluff of the Illyria/Faith/Wesley variety. There is no tentacle!sex, for once.
Still dedicated to
girlupnorth, also known as The Enabler, who thought up the title for this.Presentation at the Temple
Wesley gave up on his efforts to have any control over the proceedings as soon as the appropriate Earthparents were holding the appropriate children. Since pairing Buffy off with either Spike or Angel might have resulted in murder or possibly suicide, the two vampires were standing together, holding Louise, a child without special interest in driving wooden objects through non-wooden ones. Anya and Xander were handed Pia, who was quite whiny ever since early morning. Sophia was given to Buffy and Dawn (and they wouldn’t stop going over how pretty the blue children were, much to Wesley’s liking). Finally, Téa’s Earthparents would be Willow and Andrew.
Connor was highly offended by not being chosen; Kennedy sent them a letter of gratitude for the same reason, and Giles wasn’t coming at all due to some “urgent matters abroad”, which, according to Buffy, entailed “being a pompous ass with a midlife crisis spreading well outside the mid”.
Wesley gathered they weren’t on speaking terms again.
Thankfully, Lorne didn’t lose any of his organizational skills. Choosing him for the master of the ceremony wasn’t divine inspiration, since Illyria’s interest in the practical side of the matter began and ended with her offer to open a portal to get them to wherever the proceedings would take place, but it was a great idea nonetheless. There was a sitting chart, a plan and the music was right about passable.
Lorne welcomed each of the babies in turn, complimented the “happy blue family”, lied to Wesley that he looked better than ever and hugged Spike and Angel, congratulating them on their “resolving of petty differences”.
Faith thanked him for all the work he must have put into the organization.
“I haven’t been the Host for far too long. It’s my pleasure to be able to finally make use of my natural talent – well, one of them anyway,” he added, winking at blushing Andrew.
The naming itself went almost flawlessly, apart from the moment when Louise flooded the room with milk, completely ruining Spike’s shirt and prompting him to let out a series of curses which sent Pia into a giggling fit.
Illyria gave Spike a stern look and reprimanded him not to use “improper language” in front of her daughters. Wesley decided that she was utterly beautiful when using the word “daughters”.
Sitting chart went out of the window fifteen minutes into the first course. Perhaps just as well: Buffy and Faith were speaking in raised voices already. Meanwhile, Lorne sang the babies to sleep in a far corner, and Angel turned to face Wesley.
“Getting back into shape can be a drag,” he said, eyeing Wesley’s loose shirt, which didn’t do as much to hide his post-pregnancy stomach as he might have liked it to.
Wesley pretended to smile in response.
“Peaches here had to lose thirty pounds before Buffy’d let him anywhere near, so half of it was mystical elective surgery, if you get my drift,” Spike explained helpfully. Angel scowled.
“Well, she had you lose a couple, too.”
”I didn’t need a tummy-tuck afterwards.”
Thankfully, Lorne was signalling something from where he was standing over the cribs.
“Excuse me, I think I’ll go check up on the babies.” Wesley rose, leaving his steak halfway uneaten.
Faith apparently had had the very same idea; she was holding Téa up and examining her critically.
“I hate changing nappies,” she sighed.
“You and me both,” Wesley agreed. Faith got cracking.
“I’m under the impression Buffy is engaged in a sexual triangle with Angel and Spike,” he confessed.
“She’s always had a complex, Wes,” Faith replied, drying Téa’s bottom with a wipe. “Like two vampires could ever equal me getting it on with a female God-King… and a very masculine you.”
That earned her a smile. Wesley leaned down and picked Louise up.
“This one too, huh. Too bad she doesn’t open portals that would take out her shit.”
Wesley shrugged. Faith picked the now clean and dressed Téa back up and gave him a peck on the cheek while passing him on her way back to the table.
“Do get that mystic’s number from Angel, though. Nothing wrong with looking your best.”
*~*~*
“So what’s Giles really up to?”
Three hours later, Faith was well into being inebriated, Wesley was starting to feel somewhat relaxed, and younger Slayers were taking turns feeding the blue children from bottles under Illyria’s watchful eye. It was a great party.
“He announced retirement some six months ago,” Buffy replied with evident distaste. “And he brags about his newfound sexual life – not to me, but word gets round – and about young women and men. Except of course that’s pretty much his fantasy, and reality is, he is living with Ethan, and they go out for drinks, hit on people, get rejected, go back to the flat and, you know.”
Spike smiled and finished it for Buffy.
“They get stoned and fuck like teenagers. It’s really heart-warming, guys their age, still so much in lust.”
Faith turned a little bit green.
“I’m going to throw up,” she said.
Buffy patted her on the back.
“At least you didn’t see the surveillance.”
Xander and Anya had snuck out almost an hour prior. Thanks to Willow’s magic, the music in the room was loud, while the corner with the babies remained quiet, letting so-inclined guests dance. Buffy forced both vampires to join her on the floor, to Wesley’s utter amusement; Angel attempted to fake enjoyment, while Spike rocked back and forth while trying to grab either Buffy’s or Angel’s ass.
Lorne was making out with Andrew in one of the darker corners.
“So, which one will Buffy have impregnated?” Faith asked, elbowing Wesley. He startled.
“What?!”
“She’s a born copycat. She won’t suffer it for me to have spawned and for her to be childless. I bet she has Willow researching it as we speak.”
Wesley put his money on Angel, as the one with lesser drinking problem.
Connor’s scowl showed exactly what he thought about siblings. That just got Faith going.
“Cheer up, kiddo, I bet one of the young Slayers here would gladly knock you up given half a chance.”
By the time they left, two hour later, Spike and Angel were slow-dancing, embraced, while Faith had managed to get Buffy drunk enough to elaborate her opinions on the vampires’ technique in the bedroom, much to Wesley’s horror. He bid quick good-byes to Lorne, whom he had to almost pry away from Andrew, hugged Willow, shook Kennedy’s hand and suffered through Buffy’s lengthy speech about how he was now responsible for young lives, speaking of which, where was Dawn.
Spike offered him surprisingly honest commiserations on the account of being surrounded by oceans of estrogens and offered a safe haven in case he wanted to watch telly while drinking beer. Wesley found it quite amusing, considering Spike’s ultra-masculine taste in television programming.
Angel hugged him and professed how happy he was to know that Wesley had found love, acceptance and home, before giving him the mystical surgeon’s card with a, “Seriously, give the guy a call.”
Wesley called first to the shower. Illyria demanded that someone prepare a bath for her.
“Our relationship is so much healthier than theirs,” Faith pronounced happily, before running to the bathroom to cheat on the shower queue.
“We’re going to need a three-bathroom house soon, aren’t we,” he sighed, putting Louise to bed. Louise giggled and levitated his glasses into her tiny grip in response.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-27 06:09 pm (UTC)And also: Giles' midlife crisis. That's always fun.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-29 06:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-29 06:25 pm (UTC)I think, generally, the 'who I don't ship/see Giles with' is a shorter list. Much shorter.
And yay, I get a subplot \o/
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-29 06:32 pm (UTC)Xander: Wiesz, do którego z nas mówi?
Spike: Nie mam pojęcia...
Ethan: Ja się zgadzam.
;)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-29 06:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-27 09:57 pm (UTC)And I love that everyone is pretty much OMG AWESOME AND CUTE about the blue babies :D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-29 06:23 pm (UTC)Of course they made it - I like the core/extended core stuff in fiction as much as you do. Lorne/Andrew is kinda cute to me. And who wouldn't be all "CUTE OMG" about divine blue babies? :D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-08-29 10:22 pm (UTC)Rozwaliła mnie ta ceremonia XD Gadanie o seksie wampirów, kryzys wieku średniego Gilesa, zasugerowane Lorne/Andrew?!, zmienianie pieluszek... i trufax, że będą potrzebować większej ilości łazienek XD Nie było macek! A w Coffee Shopie był dzisiaj ten pan, który nie/słyszał wtedy o mackach w tyłku XDDD
Since pairing Buffy off with either Spike or Angel might have resulted in murder or possibly suicide, the two vampires were standing together, holding Louise, a child without special interest in driving wooden objects through non-wooden ones.
XDDDDDD
“Getting back into shape can be a drag,” he said, eyeing Wesley’s loose shirt, which didn’t do as much to hide his post-pregnancy stomach as he might have liked it to.
Nieeee ;____; XDDD
“She’s a born copycat. She won’t suffer it for me to have spawned and for her to be childless. I bet she has Willow researching it as we speak.”
Wesley put his money on Angel, as the one with lesser drinking problem.
Jakie zło XDDD Ja bym się chyba bała genów Angela aka Connor...
He bid quick good-byes to Lorne, whom he had to almost pry away from Andrew, hugged Willow, shook Kennedy’s hand and suffered through Buffy’s lengthy speech about how he was now responsible for young lives, speaking of which, where was Dawn.
Świetne XDDD
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-15 09:33 pm (UTC)To jest zdecydowanie moja ulubiona część
nawet jeśli nie ma tentacle!sex tutaj. To jak opisałaś ceremonię, jak wiele osób udało ci się wprowadzić do tekstu w jednym rozdziale i na dodatek tak cudownie poprzydzielać im role i o nikim nie zapomnieć w miarę rozwijania się rozdziału, jest po prostu niesamowite <3“I’m under the impression Buffy is engaged in a sexual triangle with Angel and Spike,” he confessed.
“She’s always had a complex, Wes,” Faith replied, drying Téa’s bottom with a wipe. “Like two vampires could ever equal me getting it on with a female God-King… and a very masculine you.”
Awwwww, so Faith XD Also, of course they couldn't equal them XD
“So, which one will Buffy have impregnated?” Faith asked, elbowing Wesley. He startled.
“What?!”
“She’s a born copycat. She won’t suffer it for me to have spawned and for her to be childless. I bet she has Willow researching it as we speak.”
Wesley put his money on Angel, as the one with lesser drinking problem.
Awww, śliczne XD Też bym stawiała na Angela XD
I Anya była! <3 I Dawn <3 i nawet Andrew! \o/
Srsly, zdecydowanie moja ulubiona część <3
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-22 08:02 pm (UTC)“Getting back into shape can be a drag,” he said, eyeing Wesley’s loose shirt, which didn’t do as much to hide his post-pregnancy stomach as he might have liked it to.
Wesley pretended to smile in response.
“Peaches here had to lose thirty pounds before Buffy’d let him anywhere near, so half of it was mystical elective surgery, if you get my drift,”
NIE PRZEJMUJ SIĘ WESLEY CIAŁO JEST PIĘKNE PO PORODZIE. TO PO PROSTU CUD ŻYCIA!
A Angel przesadzał po prostu z krwią z mikrofalówki, to już jego problem.Mistyczny chirurg XDDD
“He announced retirement some six months ago,” Buffy replied with evident distaste. “And he brags about his newfound sexual life – not to me, but word gets round – and about young women and men. Except of course that’s pretty much his fantasy, and reality is, he is living with Ethan, and they go out for drinks, hit on people, get rejected, go back to the flat and, you know.”
GROSS SEKS STARYCH LUDZI.
Ale zapomniałam, jak się tu znęcałaś nad Gilesem! XD On nie może iść na emeryturę, bo oszaleje.
“She’s a born copycat. She won’t suffer it for me to have spawned and for her to be childless. I bet she has Willow researching it as we speak.”
Wesley put his money on Angel, as the one with lesser drinking problem.
LOL, może i mniej pije, ale za to jego potomstwo ma problematyczną osobowość i lubi niszczyć światy. Więc już stawiałabym na Spike'a.