novin_ha: Buffy: gotta be a sacrifice ([angel] joyful mysteries)
[personal profile] novin_ha
Since I'm recapping it for [livejournal.com profile] girlupnorth anyway, I decided to share the recaps here. Enjoy, if applicable.

Below: A Quick Recap of Episodes 2.01 and 2.02.

Matt Murdoch: I am no longer TORMENTED by the darkness of my violent ways. I am bringing ORDER to Hell's Kitchen. *Runs around in silly costume like there's no tomorrow*

Punisher: *shoots lots of bad guys and also terrorizes a hospital and Jessica aka Karen while looking for one missing bad guy, also gives MM a concussion* See how much you can accomplish with a better work ethic. By work ethic I mean I shoot people.

MM: Short guy I'm in law with, what do you tell to our pretty assistant we're both in love with when I take my regular sick days b/c of having had crap beaten out of me? Just out of curiosity.

Short Guy: Um, the obvious.

MM: ...that I'm on secret missions doing awesome stuff?

Short Guy: That you have a HUGE drinking problem.

MM: OMG she won't want my dick anymore! Not that I know that she does.

Short Guy: ...yeah, I WISH and also stop talking about your penis, it's weird.

Karen-not-Jessica: Matt, you need to get help. I could totally help you with your ~problem~. You can totally tell me EVERYTHING about your secret issues.

MM: ...you mean about how I'm secretly---

Karen: Also how FUCKED UP is that Daredevil dude? I mean, at first I kind of dug him and his vigilante justice stuff, but now that his copycat is running around KILLING FOLKS I realise the error of my way. *Fuck* that guy. And not the nice way.

MM: ...I'm secretly BLIND. I run into stuff. That's why I'm so banged up. From the not seeing of things.

Karen: ...we all know you're blind.

MM: HUGE WEIGHT OFF MY CHEST THANKS FOR LISTENING BYE.
MM: Oh, but also, DAREDEVIL IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM PUNISHER
MM: How dare you even compare the two.
MM: Apples and weapons of mass destruction.
MM: Oranges and napalm.
MM: Don't starve base and shipwrecked.
Karen: Nope, the two are very similar.
MM: ...FML and also BACK TO BEING TORMENTED, ALL IT TOOK WAS AN EPISODE AND A HALF.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Hell's Kitchen:

Shopkeeper of  a totally regular neighbourhood gun shop, swastica tats and all: So, as part of our loyalty program we've been looking at what else appeals to our customer base of unprincipled criminals and we've decided it's either Granny Porn or 12 year olds. So, can I interest you in purchasing a 12 year old today?

Punisher: Swastika was bad but---
Punisher:
IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM, SEXUALLY BASED OFFENCES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, PUNISHER BEATS YOU UP WITH A BASEBALL BAT.
Punisher: And trust me, SVU detectives would not have been nicer than that.

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